I talked to my IM today!

We spoke on the phone for the first time! She called me, while the kids were playing thank goodness. I was actually able to talk with her without too much interuption. When the phone rang at first I thought it was someone from my Dr's office because I had just left them a voicemail asking if they'd received my request for medical records. I was really surprised to see IM's name on the caller ID.

The conversation went well. I'll admit, I was really nervous, but excited at the same time. There weren't too many awkward moments. It flowed pretty smoothly. :) It was so neat to be able to hear her voice. It just makes this whole thing seem so much more REAL.

Well, after this conversation, there's no doubt in my mind about if we're "matched" or not. Now, just have to wait for all the paperwork to be in and then from there we'll have a phone interview with the clinic.

I'm so excited! =D

My children

It has been brought to my attention by someone that I have not mentioned my own children in any of my posts and how this surrogacy will effect them emotionally. Well, first thing I have to say to that (even though I already emailed this person privately, I want to post this here in case anyone else is wondering...) Just because I don't blog it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened. Yes, I realize I do blog about quite a bit, but I don't blog EVERY aspect of my life or EVERY aspect of this surrogacy. Next, I'd like to say that yes, I have indeed taken my children into consideration. I asked them what their opinions were, after explaining (in kids' terms) what surrogacy was, and my daughter so graciously said to me "YES!", to which I replied, "Yes, what?" and she said that she wanted me to help someone else have a baby who needed help.

Throughout the pregnancy we will reinforce that the baby is not ours, that it is "so and so's" baby. We are not the parents, "so and so" are the baby's mommy and daddy. We will not be preparing our home for a new baby, we will not be buying baby things, we will not be reading "new baby" books, or watching birth videos. We WILL talk about exactly what's happening, how the "so and so's" are getting ready for a new baby, and the "so and so's" are going to be so excited when it's time for them to take THEIR baby home. There will never be an instance of "we're giving OUR baby away" because that is simply not the case. I will always reinforce that "so and so" are borrowing my belly so to speak, to help grow their baby, because they are unable to.

So, in case anyone else was worried about my children and their emotional well being, don't worry, I've got it covered. ;)

I think I have IP's!

I applied to an agency local to me, but I didn't want to limit my search for IP's so I decided to post an ad in the classifieds section of a surrogacy website. I immediately started receiving replies to the ad, none of which really struck my fancy. People sending me one line emails just asking me my "comp" or people who wanted TS only... uh, I made it perfectly clear in my ad that I would be a GS only. Or other people who's hurt was still very evident in their messages. I'm sorry, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable taking this kind of journey with a couple who is still emotionally so raw.

I finally got a reply from an IM in NY. From her first email to me, I had a smile on my face and I really liked her. She was so happy and excited and a very nice person. Finally (I don't know why I keep saying finally, it really only took a day or 2, LOL)! Someone who wasn't all business. Someone who was a real person and in a good place emotionally (at least she seems to be). Her and her husband already have a beautiful 4 yr old daughter and for reasons I won't get into here (I don't like telling other peoples' stories) they can't have any more babies. They really want her to have a sibling to grow up with and I can totally understand that. I can't imagine my kids not having each other. Sure they fight like siblings do, but they are also best friends.

So I replied to her and we hit it off (as much as one can hit it off through emails, lol)! We are on the same page as far as all of the important matters that must be taken into account when it comes to surrogacy. We exchanged photos of our families and that made it seem more real. It's nice to put a face to a name. We've talked back and forth a few times and there is definitely a connection. There are no "red flags" or bad gut feelings. So, even though we never formally said "hey let's work together!", I think that we are. LOL! It's pretty much one of those things that is just understood without even having to say it.

So... here we are. It takes a long time to fill out all the required paperwork and gather medical records and such, but this is where I'm at now in the process. I'm not sure exactly when, but at some point when all the paperwork is done James and I will have to fly to NY for an all day screening with their clinic, so cleverly dubbed the "all day". We'll have to undergo medical screening as well as psychological. This will also be our first time meeting our IP's in person. =D Then we fly back home and wait to see if I passed the screening. Talk about nerve wracking! We do contracts at some point in there too. Once all is said and done and I'm (hopefully!) cleared to work with them we'd have to start meds (pills and shots, yikes!). When it's time for the actual transfer (IVF) I'd have to go back NY (either by myself or with a companion). I'm not sure what that clinic's protocol is but from my understanding, most RE's want the GS to be on bedrest for 24-48 hrs after. I'd fly back home and then the dreaded 2ww (2 week wait) when we'd have to wait and see a pregnancy was achieved.

So... that's that! I'm off to do some more paperwork stuff. Fun!

In it for the money? HA!!

I just read this take on the whole issue of surrogates being "in it for the money" and I just had to post. It is SO true.

Taken from circle surrogacy website:

"One of Circle’s surrogates laughs about her brother’s dismissal of the money issue by saying “There are a lot easier ways to make twenty thousand dollars in a year!” This is so true. When you consider the variability of morning sickness, stretch marks, sleepless nights, swollen ankles, labor pains, and all of the other issues of pregnancy, this amount of money doesn’t seem so large. In fact, if you figure that from start to finish, your surrogacy takes ten months, 24 hours a day, at an average salary of $20,000…that works out to a compensation of about $2.74 per hour. No one would take that job!…unless they had a higher purpose."

Ain't that the truth. As fun as pregnancy can be at times, it's no walk in the park. It's very strenuous on the body (not to mention the mind, in those last few weeks).

I'm sure there are some surrogates who are in it for the money, but they are few and far between. Of all the ones I've encountered so far, they are doing it from their heart and truly want to HELP another family have a baby. The ones who are in it for the money are going to be regretting their decision when they're hugging the toilet for the first trimester, suffering from insomnia due to bad heartburn in the second trimester, and waddling around with swollen ankles and an aching back in the third trimester. In it for the money? HA!

Here's where I'm at

I've applied to an agency and I've spoken on the phone with them a few times and I really like them. Today I went to the Dr. to be cleared and declared in good health for a pregnancy (silly, I know, but needed by the agency). I'm in the middle of weaning Samara, which isn't too hard actually since she seems to be ready for it. I need to have her weaned before I can get pregnant because the hormones that the body produces while nursing can have a negative impact on the drugs I'll be taking to get myself ready for the surrogacy. It's good timing because I'm just DONE with nursing. I'm proud of the 19 months that I've nursed her, but I'm just so. ready. to. wean. her.

Anyways..... I've submitted my application, seen my Dr., so the next step is to meet in person with the person from the agency with whom I've been speaking.

I responded to an ad today on the surrogacy board that I frequent. A couple in IL with a 3 yo boy. They seem really nice, but they're with a different agency. I'm not exactly sure how that works. I don't think I have to be with "my" agency exclusively. I know that would really limit me finding IP's (intended parents). I'd really like to be matched with IP's who live in IL or at least within driving distance so that they could attend most, if not all of the doctors appointments.

That's it for now....

Here I am again.... 8 months after my last post. I've been thinking about surrogacy again for the past few weeks. I will be doing GS. I realize that there are many more drugs involved with GS and it's much more medically mananged, but I'll take that over possibly doing something that I would really regret (TS). That's it for now....

I wanted to come back and clarify that I have deleted my posts from 2006 because I want this blog to be about *this* journey and not what happened in the past.