My Journey as a Surrogate

Thursday, April 03, 2008

The end of one journey

It's been over 2 months now since my last post. I guess it's time for an update.

My IP's spent quite a while to themselves after our canceled cycle. Rightfully so. They were very upset. For a while there I was left in the dark, wondering what was going to happen... waiting for my IP's to make a decision as to whether to try again or not. I finally got my answer last week when my IM told me that they just didn't have it in them to try another cycle right now or anytime in the near future. I was very glad that she made that call because I was *so close* to throwing in the towel myself. I didn't like the feeling of not knowing if/when we would be cycling again. They decided it wouldn't be fair to leave me hanging any longer so we decided to part ways.

Immediately after this I thought I didn't want to find new IP's. The last process was so long and with so many unforeseen roadblocks that I didn't know if I really wanted to go there again. I started to think that I wanted to add another baby to OUR family. James and I talked about it.. debated the pros and cons... and then I realized that I don't want to add another member to our family... I want to be pregnant. I've been in the mindset of becoming pregnant since last July when I met my former IP's. It's a hard thing to let go of. So........

I have decided to find new IP's! Why come THIS far into the process and commit myself 110% to helping a family have a child, and then just quit? I learned quite a bit from my last journey that will be useful to me on my new journey.

So there it is. The end of one journey and the beginning of another (hopefully sooner rather than later ;) ).

1 Comments:

  • At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am sorry to hear that this journey has ended, but maybe it was for the best. There is always a reasons for things that happen even though we may not see it. And there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I know you will be a fab GS and I hope your search is quick and smooth. I will be watching for updates on your new journey.

     

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